Proudmom Parenting

Me eldest child,

My first born,

“It’s a GIRL”

Becoming a mother taught me so much, about myself, about love, connection, relationships and the meaning of life.

Like every child, my daughter is uniquely designed and created

I thought I was very open to discovery of who she was and my intention was to allow and encourage her own expression of who she is. I succeeded, maybe sometimes, and failed at others. For a more true story you would need to hear from her.

She challenged me! If you are a parent, can you relate?

Becoming a parent challenged every part of my life, my body, emotions, marriage, relationships, career path, everything!!

I was also captivated by her, overwhelmed with joy and love.

Our budget was tight. I was in graduate school. Her father was a surgical resident. We had generous family and friends who gifted us with beautiful girl clothes, dresses and pink. She wore them, as an infant!

As a toddler, when asserting her sense of self, every morning was a struggle dressing her, until I learned….

She like overalls! All she wanted to wear were her Osh Kosh overalls. She hated dresses, tights and bows in her hair. Her daddy didn’t care for them either, which became a point of contention when he cut the bows off her socks, and I felt distressed when he took her to his barber for her first haircut. I secretly wondered, but didn’t have the courage to have the conversation, if he had wished she was a boy. Now I know that was not the truth and appreciate the bond they share. Don’t get judgy here, this is not my intention, and it has taken me some time and personal growth to accept and come to peace with how we parented and who we were!

My former husband and I raised our six children as best we knew, with as much love and attention as we were able to give. I believe most parent do, though we fall short.

Each of my children, by being who they are, has challenged me to grow, in unique and different ways.

My firstborn daughter, raised in a traditional Catholic family, is gay. I was slow to recognize and accept this truth of who she is, though friends and others saw this as obvious from a very young age. She played Little League with the boys, with confidence and ease. I was really proud. She was the first girl to make a team in the traditional Massachusetts small town of West Boylston. She played better than most of the boys. I got angry, more angry than I knew I was capable of, when the coaches kept her on the bench. They realized she was a girl after they drafted her on the team!!

Fast forward….

This past weekend, my daughter represented the US Coast Guard in a Veterans Day flag ceremony at a professional football game. She is a graduate of the USCG Academy, and is married to her beautiful wife. They are raising three awesome and wonderful children on a farm they recently purchased, while owners and managers of multiple properties. They are great parents, courageously being themselves. as they worship in a Roman Catholic Church and are actively engaged in the Catholic school community with their daughters.

My daughter is who she is, mostly because she is living the life she was designed to live. and despite my parenting faults and failures, I believe she knows without a doubt that she is loved.

She has taught me in this parenting journey, to stay humble and curious, to cherish the gift this child came to give, to focus on the learning and the growth through the challenges, to be grateful in all of it and live with joy, and mostly, that LOVE is what frees us to be ourselves.

I’m still learning. Thank you Carin!